Funny Quotes About Marriage & Love

Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.

-- Albert Einstein

The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."

-- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying.

-- Anonymous

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

-- Bette Midler

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

--Unknown

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

--Rita Rudner

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.

--Unknown

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

--David Bissonette

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
 --Phyllis Diller

Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

-- Anonymous

I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
--Unknown